Hold onto your foam fingers, folks, because the Duke and Duchess of Montecito have done it again: turned a wholesome American pastime into a glittering display of celebrity hypocrisy! Just last night, on October 28, 2025, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle sauntered into
Dodger Stadium for Game 4 of the World Series, where the Los Angeles Dodgers faced off against the Toronto Blue Jays in a nail-biter that ended with the Blue Jays walking away victorious.
But wait—where were the royal rugrats, Archie (now a worldly 6-year-old) and Lilibet (a sassy 4-year-old princess-in-training)? Nowhere in sight! Instead, the couple opted for a “cozy date night” in front-row VIP seats, coordinating in Dodgers merch like they were auditioning for a rom-com sequel called Spare Me the Family Time.
Yes, you heard that right. The same pair who once hightailed it out of Buckingham Palace citing “privacy concerns” for their offspring decided that the blinding lights of a sold-out stadium—complete with screaming fans, jumbotron close-ups, and enough paparazzi to light up the Hollywood sign—were the perfect spot for some kid-free canoodling.
Meanwhile, back in their sprawling Montecito fortress (valued at a cool $14 million, or roughly the GDP of a small nation), Archie and Lilibet were presumably left to fend for themselves with a squadron of eco-friendly nannies, a pile of organic quinoa puffs, and reruns of Paw Patrol on a diamond-encrusted iPad.But seriously, why not bring the kids?
The original headline floating around the tabloid ether—”Why didn’t Meghan Markle and Prince Harry take Archie and Lilibet to the Dodgers baseball game?”—nailed it on the head, but let’s eviscerate the excuses and serve up the real dirt with a side of garlic fries. We’re here to call out this royal snub for what it is: a masterclass in performative parenting, where “family first” means “family last if there’s a free suite involved.”
Excuse #1: “It’s a School Night… Or Something”Harry and Meghan’s PR machine (powered by solar panels and good vibes) whispered that the game was “too late” for the little ones. Uh-huh. Kickoff was at a reasonable 7:10 PM Pacific Time, wrapping up before midnight—plenty early for kids who’ve probably already jetted across time zones more times than most adults have vacations.
Remember when Archie was trotted out for that polo match in Santa Barbara? Or Lilibet’s cameo at the Invictus Games? But a World Series game, with its fireworks, home runs, and the chance to see Shohei Ohtani in action? Apparently, that’s where they draw the bedtime line. Critics (like yours truly) suspect the real issue: No one wants to explain to a toddler why the mascot looks like a deranged Smurf on steroids.
Excuse #2: “Security Nightmares in the Stands”The Sussexes have long played the “paparazzi peril” card, claiming public outings are a gauntlet of flashbulbs and fan frenzy. Fair enough—Dodger Stadium was packed with over 50,000 roaring spectators, including celebs like Sydney Sweeney, who somehow managed to snag seats nearby without a royal entourage. But Harry, a former military man who once piloted helicopters, couldn’t swing some kid-sized ear protection and a discreet bodyguard disguised as a hot dog vendor? Please. The stadium’s security is tighter than Meghan’s blowout—off-duty LAPD everywhere, metal detectors, and enough cameras to make Big Brother blush.
If they can schmooze with Beyoncé at concerts or Oprah in their backyard, they can handle a seventh-inning stretch with the sprogs.The Juicy Truth: It’s All About the ‘Gram and the GlamLet’s cut the crap: Insiders (okay, fine, a barista at the Montecito Starbucks who overheard a nanny venting) spill that Harry and Meghan wanted an “adult-only vibe” to “reconnect” amid their jam-packed schedule of Netflix deals and jam jars (shoutout to American Riviera Orchard—still waiting on that strawberry spread, Meg).
Dressed in matching Dodgers caps and hoodies (Harry in a classic blue jacket that screamed “I’m just a regular bloke,” and Meghan in a chic ensemble worth more than the average fan’s mortgage payment), they beamed for the cameras, high-fiving like they invented enthusiasm.
Meanwhile, the Blue Jays clobbered the Dodgers 5-3, but the real score? Parenting: 0, Publicity: 10.And get this—fans are furious! Social media is ablaze with complaints about the royals hogging the best seats. One X post fumed, “Why do Harry and Meghan get front-row at the World Series while real fans pay thousands? And without kids? Selfish!” Another chimed in, “They preach family values but leave Archie and Lili at home for date night? Hypocrites!” Even the Royal Family back in the UK is probably chuckling—King Charles might be thinking, “At least I took you boys to polo, not just posed for pics.”A History of Half-Baked Family OutingsThis isn’t the Sussexes’ first rodeo (or baseball game) dodging full-family fun. Flashback to 2019: Harry at a Yankees game in London, sans Meghan and baby Archie. Or their 2023 appearance at a Lakers game—again, kid-free, with more focus on the Kiss Cam than quality time.
It’s like they’ve got a playbook:
Step 1: Show up looking fabulous.
Step 2: Smile for the ‘gram.
Step 3: Leave the heirs at home with the help.
Contrast that with other royals—William and Kate haul George, Charlotte, and Louis to everything from Wimbledon to wildlife safaris, turning public duties into teachable moments. But Harry? He’s too busy “mirroring” Meghan’s style statements (as one tabloid gushed) to mirror actual parenting.
Poor Archie must be wondering if “Dodgers” is code for “Daddy’s Other Gig.” And Lilibet? She’s probably plotting her own tell-all: Spare Me the Stadium Snubs. Imagine the missed opportunities: Archie could’ve learned about teamwork from Ohtani’s homer. Lilibet might’ve waved a tiny foam finger.
Instead, they got bedtime stories about how Mommy and Daddy “supported the team” from seats that cost more per game than a year of preschool.The Bottom of the Ninth: Time for a Royal Reality CheckAs the Blue Jays celebrated their win and Dodgers fans drowned their sorrows in $15 beers, one thing was clear: Harry and Meghan’s date night was a swing and a miss for family values. In a world where they constantly harp on “protecting childhood,” skipping this all-American bonding op feels like a foul ball straight to the heart. Sure, parenting isn’t all peanuts and Cracker Jacks, but come on—give the kids a taste of the action!
So, to the headline that started it all: “Why didn’t they take Archie and Lilibet?” The answer is simple—they prioritized their brand over their brood. Shame on you, Sussexes. Next time, bring the whole squad or stay home with your artisanal popcorn.Stay tuned for our next exposé: “Harry’s Hoodie Hypocrisy—How Much Did That ‘Casual’ Merch Really Cost?”(Disclaimer: No actual Blue Jays were consulted for this article. But if they were, they’d probably agree: Kids belong at the ballgame.)
