Prince Andrew’s lavish lifeline just snapped! The disgraced duke’s £500K taxpayer payout for Royal Lodge upkeep has been YANKED after shock inspectors exposed the once-grand mansion as a crumbling eyesore — leaky roofs, moldy walls, and Epstein ghosts lurking in the decay!
It exploded when King Charles’s handpicked probe team stormed the Windsor wreck: Peeling paint, buckled floors, and gardens overrun like a horror flick set. “This isn’t regal — it’s a rotting ruin!” thundered the report, leaked to tabloids worldwide. Andrew’s “repairs” budget? Squandered on polo ponies, Fergie facelifts, and mystery “gifts” — zero receipts, all receipts missing!
The payout poof? Palace edict: “No more free rides for freeloaders.” Charles, fed up with Andrew’s Epstein stench and £2M security begs, slashed the cash cow overnight. “Dilapidated doesn’t begin to cover it — it’s a fire hazard fit for a felon!” insiders savage. Photos flood X: Sagging ceilings, rodent nests, and Andrew’s tacky throne room trashed like a frat house.
Duke’s despair? Volcanic. Sources say he’s raging at Balmoral borders, begging William for mercy while Fergie packs for Portugal. “Eviction looms — Royal Lodge or the road!” Social media slaughter: #AndrewsDump trends with 60M posts, memes of the prince polishing his medals amid mouse droppings, and #BootTheDuke chants echoing.
Timing? Brutal — post-health scares, mid-Meghan meltdowns, as Kate’s Adelaide Cottage gleams pristine. Charles draws the line: No lodge, no luxury. Is this Andrew’s Windsor Waterloo — payout pulverized, palace paradise lost forever?
